After weeks of self-indoctrination with words of encouragement, I finally mustered up my courage and started a new initiative (at least it’s ”new” for me) yesterday.
I have planned to start something that I have never done before. I have no experience as event organizer but this work did not particularly fall into such category. As usual I was always haunted by the negative feelings and judgements like what if it didn’t work, what if things turned out ugly, etc … until I realized it is okay to take the advantages and disadvantages into the consideration as a way to anticipate the risks, the unfavorable as well as the favorable ones, as long as I do not submerged my head completely into the shit hole of desperation. The other thing that worried me was that I had to start out late from my own schedule because I had to wait for the chief’s approval for the event. This thing added into my headache and a couple of white nights. And I had the option to back off and found another thing to do but I somehow was certain that I had to do this because it would affect the following actions without me being able to explain how. Perhaps I could, it’s just I wanted to include the surprise element into my office life …. Alrighty, you win again, my gut feeling!
So I started out at the right day into the third week of January and got the chief’s approval and his commitment before he left the office for a trip. A miraculous act happened afterwards: I managed to stick to the schedule that I made. Schedule has always been a foreign land to me while procrastination is my guide …! Anyway, the invitation letters were sent out and phone calls were made in only one week. As for the figures and statistics, I got it only from one source in one go!
The D-day arrived. I was quite worry but I tried to keep myself composed, despite wearing all blacks the whole day (nothing to do with the national mourning week, though). The guests arrived one by one, some were early while others late. The chief was enthusiastic and I could see that he’s good at disseminating information to the public — an extremely important and rare occassion to learn from him.
It turned out well, so to speak. All I can say now at least to myself is that there’s nothing to worry about when initiating a new venture but my own false beliefs. My spirit is refreshed by this new realization and I am ready to take on more new challenges. At the end of the day, it is better to start with one small step than doing nothing at all.
